I’m not built for this weather. I’m a delicate flower when it comes to temperature sensitivity. This isn’t a point of pride, but it’s a fact. I’m a fair weather runner. If it’s under 40 degrees, you can find me on my treadmill. I’ve never in my adult life owned a pair of snow pants. I don’t advertise my snow sessions, because even though they are gorgeous, I struggle getting excited to spend time in the snow. I was even gifted a winter camera cover for Christmas, and I’ve only used the thing twice. Twice! This is ridiculous. The cover keeps my hands warmer than my actually winter gloves. I have no excuse. The unfortunate truth is winter has always been a low point of my year. This year in particular, I ended a super busy fall photo season feeling burned out. Burn out is a real thing, and it happens to the best of us.
No matter how in love with our lives we are, we are all susceptible to burn out. At some point in everyone’s adult life, we realize that we are settling in to the “long haul”. This is the dream though and something that brings a great sense of accomplishment. Hard work is paying off. We find ourselves thriving in lives we’ve worked hard to build. We’ve left behind the worry of deciding what direction to take our journey, and now, we maintain and enjoy. The long haul is more about routine than change for the most part. There are of course many exciting moments sprinkled in, but it’s human to feel burn out in our day to day routines.
I used to go for long drives when I felt bored or overwhelmed with life. I’d have no destination in mind, just drive until I felt like stopping. Then, I’d spend the afternoon at the beach or a restaurant by myself. I’d plan a mini vacation and mix up my routine. These days, I’m far from any beach and if I’m driving, there’s a Marvel movie playing in the backseat. The only thing mixing up our routine is the insane number of snow days that have been thrown at us this winter. Being stuck in house after a busy fall and holiday season was a stark contrast that left me feeling depressed. I found myself unmotivated, and for the first time in years, not wanting to pick up my camera.
Perfection, happiness, and carpe diem is constantly shoved in our face via social media. You know what? It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to take a moment. Be angry if you feel angry (just don’t take it out on the people that love you). Allow yourself to feel how you feel in the moment. Everyday is not the greatest day ever. You don’t have to be happy and pretty all the time. You can feel shitty and still have a great life. We are capable of the full spectrum of emotions – let yourself indulge. Don’t take down those around you, but give yourself grace.
Admitting to myself I didn’t want to pick up my camera made me feel even more depressed than I already felt. However, I gave myself grace. You don’t have to force happiness. It will come back to you when you take care of yourself. I snuggled my boys on the mornings school was cancelled, I ate Oreos and watched old movies, and I let myself feel “over it” for awhile. Then, one day while paper snowflakes flew all over the kitchen during the flurry of craft time, I felt inspired again. I photographed my family and felt like myself again. One day the snow will melt too, and I will run outside again in the sunshine. The long haul of our journey is not always perfect, and that’s okay. Love who you are even when you’re not lovable. Give your life a little grace…and stay off the roads today!! It’s an icy snow drift out there.
